First I want to apologize for the LONG overdue blog entry! I don’t know how all this happened and where the time went… but life has been insane these past couple weeks! Second… are you ready for this ?!? (You might actually want to sit down… oh wait you probably are… haha) Well the big news is that I landed the JOB!!! You are looking at the new president for a multimedia company here in Circle City! Crazy, huh?!?! I couldn’t believe it myself… honestly I can’t take any of the credit for it. Without a doubt it is all God and He has worked out everything! I had to keep it on the down-low for a little because we were trying to figure out the contract, but after 5 interviews and two weeks of trying to figure stuff out God has given me what looks like to be my dream job! I’m in awe of how awesome God is and amazed with what can happen when you put your trust Him. I’m really excited to see how God uses me with this new opportunity.

As far as relationships go… nothing really happening on that home front. I was a little disappointed but I’m building some good friendships! Which truthfully, I feel like it is for the best with how busy I am with my job. Last night I went down to the lake house with Dan, Mr. Mansion and a huge group of people! It was awesome… we had a really fun time, even though it was only for the night. I have a feeling we will be at the Lake house a lot more this summer. And tonight I’m going to a hockey game with another group of friends. Can’t wait!!!

It has been an exciting past couple of weeks and I’m really happy how everything is turning out so far. I’m beyond blessed and am thankful for all your prayers and support during this time… it has meant so much to me.

“Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” -Isaiah 30:18

Click… click…click… type… send. The past 10 days this is all I feel like I’ve been doing. The job search has been absolutely crazy! I’ve had multiple leads but the exciting thing is that I’m getting interviews. Since being laid off I’ve had three which in this economy is nothing to overlook. However with the clock ticking away I feel like I get more nervous with each day that passes. I know it is just a matter of time before things will pan out, but feeling a little lost on where to go next has left an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I’m not sure if any of those interviews will lead into a future career but I’m know God will give me a peace about the right job when it comes. All I can do is trust Him and live blindly.

Lately on the relationship home front, because of the job situation I haven’t felt like I have had to much time to pursue anyone. However it seems the moment I stop looking, that is when guys come out of the woodworks. Even past relationships have started to resurface again which in most cases are annoying. They just remind me of being hurt and turn into more of a poking game then something meaningful. Everything else so far has been pretty casual up until this point and there has been a date here or there. Some of my friends are trying to set me up, but there hasn’t been anyone I’m head over heels for. Thus the reason I haven’t written about them. I have been pretty content being single so I’m not really sure if I want to stir the pot up. Plus this whole job situation and the possibility of moving has made me hesitate starting anything with anyone.

Things between Mr. Seattle and I have calmed down a lot and I haven’t heard from him as much anymore. It really stinks that I finally found someone I was really interested in and excited about getting to know. But now has seems faded because of the distance. I guess for now Mr. Seattle is more a less a closed book, until he decides to open it again. I don’t tend to pursue guys, when it starts to become one sided.

Waking up this morning, I was hoping yesterday’s events were just a dream. Leaving life just as mundane as it was the day before. Pinching myself it only made me realize it was reality. Yesterday, January 12th 2009 at 2:30 in the afternoon gave a new meaning to,”Somebody’s got a case of the Mondays!”. I was at work, sitting at my desk when my phone rang. As soon as I picked it up, I got that gut feeling. I guess that is why I didn’t bother to bring a notebook and pen, I knew I wouldn’t need to take notes at this meeting. Walking downstairs I was hopeful that there were other reasons I was being called, but then when I was asked to close the door and take a seat. It all made sense, today was the day I was going to be laid off.

After having three layoffs and changing four bosses in 2008 alone, it was only a matter of when the next big change would be. I had been expecting the fourth layoff for the past two months, so I wasn’t caught off guard about it when I was told I would be apart of it. More or less it came as shock, because no one loves hearing that they are getting laid off from their job. Of course there were a few tears and questions that were endlessly filling my head as I was walked up to get some of my personal items.

Feeling a little out of place coming home at 3:30 in the afternoon, all I wanted to do was lay in bed and feel sorry for myself. After a good five minutes… I wiped the mascara off my face, picked up my computer and went to work. I realized these past couple months God was not only preparing me for this moment; He was giving me the strength I would need to get through it. I have never felt more alive and my trust has never been deeper in Him. I wanted to learn to live blind this year and now more the ever God is letting me have the chance to do that. I have no idea what the future will hold but the possibilities are endless. This is the beginning to a whole new chapter.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” – Psalm 23:4

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”- Psalm 119:50

As I was reading in Psalms this morning I came upon a word that repeated itself over and over, “trust”. Looking into it a little deeper I found throughout Psalms the word trust is mentioned 52 times in the Bible. According to Webster the definition of trust is to, “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” Trust is one of this biggest foundations in relationships and if you can’t trust someone is the relationship really meaningful to you anyway? God wants us to trust him, not with just anything but everything. I find myself kind of stumped, because I feel like God has been really laying this on my heart.

When I was younger I was very trusting of people, especially the guys I dated. Continually being disappointed, I found myself becoming really guarded. So for years I was, I didn’t trust anything a guy said to me. It hasn’t been until this year that I’ve really started to open back up, which has taken a lot of work to get to this point. I always felt I trusted God throughout my younger years but I don’t think I really understood what trusting Him meant. Even though I prayed and asked for God’s help, I really only trusted Him when it was convenient. Because I solely depended on the dating relationship I was in to carry me through the rough patches, neglecting my long term relationship with God.

Looking at myself now, I could never imagine going back to that mentality of thinking. For once in my life I truly feel like I’m being myself, I’m no longer trying to be something that I’m not. When you’re in a healthy relationship that is what it feels like, you are… well, just you. I have such a burning desire for the Lord now and even through it has been a long journey to get to this point, I have appreciated every stepping stone. With each step, He has not only brought me closer to Him but has taught me things about myself that I never thought I had in me. For so long I have only trusted Him with my eyes half open but what a difference it has made living blind. I challenge you to try it, you just might be surprised where He will lead you.

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” -Isaiah 42:16

“The LORD gives sight to the blind, the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down, the LORD loves the righteous.” -Psalm 146:8

“Who is blind but my servant, and deaf like the messenger I send? Who is blind like the one committed to me, blind like the servant of the LORD ?” – Isaiah 42:19

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” -Psalm 143:8