Instant Gratification

Have you ever felt like you have more on your plate then you can handle? Saying to yourself that famous line, “Ughhhh… I have so much to do and not enough time”. Time is everything isn’t it?!?! We just never feel like we can never get enough. I find this to be the case 9 times out of 10. But I have a crazy thought for you, what if you have all the time you need? Pondering this statement you don’t know if you believe me do you? Seriously, think about it. God made this marvelous world and made time. Wouldn’t you think God would have made our days longer if he thought we would need more time then we have now. You have all the time you need for today but what you choose to do with that time is up to you.

Here is a real life example… I have been putting off grocery shopping for a few weeks now. (finally went tonight… yahoo!!!) Anyway… I kept saying I just don’t have the time to grocery shop. But in reality I was spending just as much time trying to find somewhere to eat, then it would have actually taken to go grocery shopping. So in the long run I was wasting more time and money then I should have for instant gratification.

Working out is another great example of what I’m taking about… Most of us will always say I don’t have time to work out. But in reality you really do have time to work out. Even if you just spend 17 minutes a day (doing abs on the floor, walking, or picking up those weights while watching t.v.)… you would have worked out 2 hours a week! 2 hour or more a week will make a huge difference in your lifestyle. You will find you have more energy during the day, you will feel more confident about yourself and you will less likely be stressed out about all that time you don’t have!

Lastly, one more thing we always tend to neglected is spending time in the Bible. Again something you can spend 10 minutes a day reading… (you can give up 10 minutes of tv can’t you?) will change how you grow in your relationship with the Lord. I know for myself… spending time in His word has not only been a huge blessing but really has changed the way I view my day. I started to notice little things that God wanted to show me through His word. And it has also giving me the opportunity to share Bible verses with someone that maybe really needed to hear it.

You see because of our “instant gratification attitude” we tend not to make time for the things that really matter. Making us feel defeated when we try to get by with not doing them. So are you up for a challenge? Think about something in your life that you always put off and say you don’t have enough time to do. And the rest of this week and next make time for it. If that means spending less time watching t.v. or surfing the net… do it. I guarantee you will feel better about your day, be less stressed out and feel more accomplished… try it and see what happens!

Dream Job

First I want to apologize for the LONG overdue blog entry! I don’t know how all this happened and where the time went… but life has been insane these past couple weeks! Second… are you ready for this ?!? (You might actually want to sit down… oh wait you probably are… haha) Well the big news is that I landed the JOB!!! You are looking at the new president for a multimedia company here in Circle City! Crazy, huh?!?! I couldn’t believe it myself… honestly I can’t take any of the credit for it. Without a doubt it is all God and He has worked out everything! I had to keep it on the down-low for a little because we were trying to figure out the contract, but after 5 interviews and two weeks of trying to figure stuff out God has given me what looks like to be my dream job! I’m in awe of how awesome God is and amazed with what can happen when you put your trust Him. I’m really excited to see how God uses me with this new opportunity.

As far as relationships go… nothing really happening on that home front. I was a little disappointed but I’m building some good friendships! Which truthfully, I feel like it is for the best with how busy I am with my job. Last night I went down to the lake house with Dan, Mr. Mansion and a huge group of people! It was awesome… we had a really fun time, even though it was only for the night. I have a feeling we will be at the Lake house a lot more this summer. And tonight I’m going to a hockey game with another group of friends. Can’t wait!!!

It has been an exciting past couple of weeks and I’m really happy how everything is turning out so far. I’m beyond blessed and am thankful for all your prayers and support during this time… it has meant so much to me.

“Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” -Isaiah 30:18

Just Friends

Photo: Nicole & I with the group at Nicky Blaine’s for Valentine’s Day

Nicole and I have been hanging out a lot more, which has been awesome. Considering it has been a real blessing to talk to another girl about… well… just girl stuff! Plus having great girlfriends like Nicole have made me forget about not really having anyone special over the V-day holiday. I’m happy to know I’m not alone in the way I feel about guys right now, it has helped a lot to hear your thoughts. I’m thankful for everyone’s encouragement to keep going.

Looking on the past holiday weekend… I’m a little confused on what happened. When Mr. Mansion came to hang out at my apartment earlier on Saturday, it went well. We just sat around, ate lunch and talked. Later on that night, when we were out at Nicky Blaine’s he seemed a little distant but I figured it was because his brother was there in the group. However ever since Saturday I have not heard nor talked with Mr. Mansion. So I’m pretty sure that whatever feeling made him grab my hand is long gone. Oh well it was a nice thought but really short lived.

Things with Mr. Pepperdine and I have been up and down over the past couple months but on Monday we talked on skype for the first time together. It has been neat how much I’ve been using skype to communicate with different people. It is like a whole new world to keeping up with people. We hadn’t seen each other in over 6 months, so mainly we just caught up on what has been going on in our lives. It was awesome to be able to talk with him face to face (kind of). Still, I find it interesting after all this time one smile from him makes my heart melt. I don’t know what it is but I know where I stand and I know what roads not to go down again. Which leaves us to where we are now… just being friends.

As far as Mr. Seattle goes, we talked last night on skype for a little. But right off the bat I could tell he was a little a frustrated with just life in general. So the conversation wasn’t the best, but hopefully whatever he is going through it works itself out. It is a bummer we live so far apart, I think it is one of the biggest reasons things have just kind of crumbed. But I’ve been told if he wants to be with you he will move mountains to do so. I can’t worry about it now, besides I think it might not be the best time to start anything anyway.

These past couple months God has taught me a lot about what He wants for me in a relationship. I’ve learned not to settle for anything less and even though it would be nice to have a relationship to work out right now. I understand it probably isn’t His timing for it… I just have to wait, be patient and content until He shows me otherwise. I’m glad God has given me such a heart for His will and a passion for the friendships He has blessed me with. It is hard sometimes to understand the reasons why God lets things happen the way they do but in the end He will bless us for staying on His path.

“My steps have held to your paths; my feet have not slipped.” -Psalm 17:5

Paint the Town Red

Photo: Myself, Will, Nicole & Nicki

This week has been absolutely crazy but I have been enjoying every minute of it. The job search has been awesome and has kept me on my toes, that is for sure. I have had five interviews since Tuesday for this new job that came up. I can’t tell you what it is yet but it could be really exciting! I am still trying to work out the details and should know which job I’m taking by Wednesday for sure. Besides being blessed with having job opportunities, I’ve been making new friends and possibly developing a new interest. I feel like everything is happening so fast, my life has been turned upside down in one month and now everything is coming together in a week. Who would have every thought this was possible?!?! But I know my God can do anything, so I’m willing to embrace every step of this path He has set me on. I’m excited to see where He leads me.

So about this new interest… I’m pretty sure this was the topping to my past week! It all started Friday night, when I went with Will, Nicole and Nicki (in the photo above) to this cocktail event at a mansion downtown. At first I didn’t know if I would be able to go but I am really happy I did. Because not only did they ask me to shoot photos for the event, but I got to meet a Colt’s player and some other really cool people! It turned out to be a really fun event and after being there for an hour or so it got really interesting. Because low and behold one of my old time buddies Dan from college comes walking in the door! What?!?! I couldn’t believe it… my jaw dropped! I was so surprised and happy to reconnect with him. Come to find out that he works for the guy who lived in the mansion we were at. Man, what a small world we live in! Standing there catching up with Dan about stuff, this guy walks up to us… (I will call him Mr. Mansion, since I met him in one). Now, what is weird about the whole situation is that I knew of Mr. Mansion in college but really have never met him. Pretty much after meeting him I was like butter the rest of the night, I mean I don’t know about him but there was a lot chemistry between us. With my curiosity… I knew I would have to talk to him somehow during the night. We end up talking a ton… which turned out to be amazing! I love the fact that Mr. Mansion is a Christian, he is funny, smart, witty, charming, comes from a big family and gosh darn good looking! As the night came to an end Mr. Mansion and I exchanged numbers.

The next day Nicole and I were planning to go out together downtown later on that night. In the mean time I spent most of the afternoon shooting photos of a band in Circle City and editing them. During that time Mr. Mansion and I kept texting back and forth seeing what each other were up to. Which made me excited, because he seemed to be interested in me as much as I was in him. Since Nicole and I were going to be downtown and the guys live down there… I ended up inviting Mr. Mansion and Dan out to join us. Well, it ended up turning into an awesome night! And oh ya, Mr. Mansion held my hand… haha. Sorry that is as intense as it got but I was really happy. He was so cute all night and I couldn’t seem to stop smiling. I’m not going to lie I was enjoying ever minute of it! All of us had so much hanging with each other we decided to do it again on Thursday night over dinner and going to watch a band in town afterward. It was kind of funny how things in life sometimes just work out. When your in the right place at the right time with the right people. Needless to say I was pretty happy with the way things turned out on Saturday night.

This morning however after I finished with church I got another text from Mr. Mansion asking what I was up to this afternoon. With both of us being spontaneous we decided to meet up for lunch. Which turned out to be a total lunch date! I really enjoyed his company and it was good to laugh again about silly things. Being around him just was another reminder that there are good Christian guys out there. I loved that we could talk about so many different things and it seems like we have a lot in common. It will be interesting to see what comes out of this but everything looks positive so far. As we left the restaurant, he walked me to my car and hugged me goodbye. Having him hold me in his arms was really nice and by the way, have a mentioned he also smells really good?!?! I really dig whatever cologne he is using.

Well we will see where this goes but Mr. Mansion seems like a great guy and I’m looking forward to getting to know him better. I just thought I would update everyone on my crazy exciting week! I have to run but I’m sure there will be more to follow really soon.

Groundbreaking

What a week this has been!!!! I feel like in the in just the couple days God has placed some amazing job opportunities and people in my life. Granted because I have been so incredibly busy moving forward with my career, I haven’t had a chance to sit down and blog about it. I thought I would just take a few seconds to give an update of how things were going.

The Job Search:
I have two full-time job opportunities that are so much more than I could ever ask for. Ones I did not look for and never dreamed of finding. I know without a doubt that this is God working in my life and wherever He leads me it will be for His glory and not mine. I will be sharing more information about them very soon, but I have to work about the details first. Thank you for being so patient and understanding while I figure this out. It is a really exciting time for me and I’m looking forward to seeing how this turns out.

Dating:
I found out from one of my girlfriends that Mr. Fitness has a baby?!?! And he is trying to move back in with this baby’s mama?!?!? What the heck ?!?! How did he think he could get away with hiding that, seriously. So from that stand point of not being upfront and honest about something that BIG in your life… I’m not about to deal with that. Mr. Fitness is O.U.T. of the picture for good.

Things with Mr. Pepperdine have been going well, we have gone back to just being friends again. He has been a great support through all of the crazy stuff going on in my life right now. I’ve really appreciated his friendship and glad we are communicating again.

After a week or so of being really quite… Mr. Seattle called me two days ago and updated me what was going on in his life. I also found last weekend he was less than a two hour drive away from me and didn’t bother to tell me. My heart sank when I found that out but in reality it wouldn’t of worked out going to see him anyways. Which granted he was here on business but I would of appreciated a call or something saying he was that close. Non the less, I think he is just a little busy at the moment and wrapped up in making his way in the world. I know what he is going through because I’m in the same place right now. So for now I will just sit tight and maybe later something will bloom out of it. But if not at least I know I didn’t invest to much time waiting on him.

In a nut shell things have been off the charts… but I’m really blessed and willing to go where God wants to lead me in my job and relationships. Please keep me in your prayers, for as I’m pretty sure I will be making the one of the biggest decision I have ever made in my life over the next few weeks. This is groundbreaking… and could be the moment that changes my life forever.

Pitter-Pat

Here is the well needed update of what has been going on the past couple days…

The Job Search:
There is an angel sitting on my shoulder… whisking away my fear of the unknown. I have never felt so comforted about things and my faith is continuing to stand strong. With everything going on, I should feel like my world is spinning out of control. The job search is still going… I’ve been on the hunt for a while but opportunities are starting to present themselves and I know it will just be a matter of time before things work out. There is also the possibility of starting a freelance company and maybe joining forces with another designer?!?! Which be really exciting… could this be where God is leading me? Well, I will keep you informed what happens once I hear more.

New MacBook Pro:
I feel bad because I haven’t had the time to write lately. Being unemployed has kept me busy looking for a new job. My living room has become my new office. I’ve been struggling to keep up with everything because my mac hasn’t been running really well and it takes forever to do anything on it. But today, God answered one of my prayers… lately I have been having to turn down freelance opportunities because of my computer was over 6 years old and extremely slow. However, it just goes to show God knows your needs and always provides. My grandparents called me and told me they wanted to buy me a new computer! Now, hold the phone… who does that?!?! I couldn’t believe they wanted to do that for me, lets just say when grandma told me I had tears of joy streaming down my face. It is just what I needed, when I needed it. I just blow away right now of God’s amazing timing of things. I’m truly blessed by everything they have done for me and for God’s amazing provisions.

Dating:
So this past Friday, a married couple I’m friends with tried hooking me up with one of there friends. They ended having me over to there house for dinner and a movie for more or less a double date. Mr. Double Dater was nice and the evening was really fun. We had an amazing meal and then sat around playing apples to apples… after which we all watched a movie together. Great night but can I be honest? It all felt more like we were all great friends hanging out and there wasn’t really any sparks flying at all. So even though it was a great night and fun, I don’t think it will be going anywhere.

Mr. Seattle started texting me again… interesting. Just when I said the book was probably closed, it opens once again. His texts are still far and few between but I was excited to hear from him. I know on my end, I still feel really attracted to him… so we will see. I’m more or less just hoping.

Besides that Mr. Pepperdine an old college crush has been trying to be more involved in my life. He keeps sending me random text, just seeing how I’ve been doing. But I don’t know what he really wants so I haven’t paid much attention to them and that ship has mostly sailed now. After what he pulled back in August I pretty sure it would take a lot for me to feel comfortable putting my heart out again for him. I’m just not ready to go down that road anytime soon.

Lastly, may I shed some light a big issue? Have you ever been taken advantage of or been walked all over by someone you liked? Mr. BRipple is such a guy and is one of those who just doesn’t get it. Over this past summer we kind of liked each other and he seemed like a cool guy to hang out with but ended up being a real jerk. Well a couple days ago he texted me out of the blue and he had the nerve to ask if I wanted to come over and snuggle. Okay for one he hasn’t talked with me in months and second where does he get the gull to think that would be okay to do? Who does he think I am?!?! Needless to say, I wrote him back and told him very nicely that the only reason he should contact me is to be a friend and nothing more right now. I don’t need a meaningless relationship (who only calls once in a while) and I knew that was exactly what he was looking for. The reason I’m mentioning this is because I wanted to remind you guys that we have feelings and your really messing with them when you pull stuff like this. Seriously, if you don’t want to be considered a jerk be mindful in trying to make healthy relationships. Otherwise in the end you will just end up alone, no girl likes a guy who fools around. And ladies you need to stick up for yourself with guys like that. Because if you don’t they will always treat you without respect and continue this little game they are playing. Sticking up for myself has helped me avoid a lot of bad situations. Excuse me for venting but I felt like it needed to be said.

New Friends:
Since I’ve had more time off, I’ve been able to hang out with friends and be able to make some new ones at networking events. It has been really interesting to see those new friendships take off. The kind of friends you feel like you have known forever. Last Friday after the blind double date I met up with some of these new found friends at Moon Dogs. It was awesome to be able to hang out and just have fun being goof-balls with each other. I’m really thankful that God has stuck some amazing people in my life. I can’t believe how much networking changes how many people you know in a matter of days. Seriously I feel like in the past two weeks I’ve met over 50 new people… it is crazy!!!

Well I think it is time for bed, however I can’t tell you how much I have appreciated all your encouraging words and prayers. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, it means the world to me.

Job Search & Relationships

Click… click…click… type… send. The past 10 days this is all I feel like I’ve been doing. The job search has been absolutely crazy! I’ve had multiple leads but the exciting thing is that I’m getting interviews. Since being laid off I’ve had three which in this economy is nothing to overlook. However with the clock ticking away I feel like I get more nervous with each day that passes. I know it is just a matter of time before things will pan out, but feeling a little lost on where to go next has left an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I’m not sure if any of those interviews will lead into a future career but I’m know God will give me a peace about the right job when it comes. All I can do is trust Him and live blindly.

Lately on the relationship home front, because of the job situation I haven’t felt like I have had to much time to pursue anyone. However it seems the moment I stop looking, that is when guys come out of the woodworks. Even past relationships have started to resurface again which in most cases are annoying. They just remind me of being hurt and turn into more of a poking game then something meaningful. Everything else so far has been pretty casual up until this point and there has been a date here or there. Some of my friends are trying to set me up, but there hasn’t been anyone I’m head over heels for. Thus the reason I haven’t written about them. I have been pretty content being single so I’m not really sure if I want to stir the pot up. Plus this whole job situation and the possibility of moving has made me hesitate starting anything with anyone.

Things between Mr. Seattle and I have calmed down a lot and I haven’t heard from him as much anymore. It really stinks that I finally found someone I was really interested in and excited about getting to know. But now has seems faded because of the distance. I guess for now Mr. Seattle is more a less a closed book, until he decides to open it again. I don’t tend to pursue guys, when it starts to become one sided.

Silver Lining

(Sigh) Isn’t it funny how life plays out? You never know what new twist and turns it will take. Each day is day of it’s own, with a brand new beginnings. Knowing this along makes waking up easier and pushing forward seem effortless. Jobless or not… the way you experience it, is up to you. We can make it into anything we want, positive or negative. The only thing that would hold us back is ourselves. The world can overwhelm us with worry but is that really our purpose… to worry? What is there to worry about when life is so short to live anyway. Who said we get to see tomorrow? For myself I know if I don’t take chances, go for the gusto and live life to the fullest for Him everyday… I will regret it. It doesn’t matter what struggles I go through, it would be all in vain if it wasn’t for Him. He has blessed my life with so much in so many ways, this is the least I can do.

Tonight, after babysitting Mr. Seattle called me. Even though we only talked for a little, I could hear my heart beating. I don’t know what it is that makes me so attracted to him, maybe it is the innocence of everything. But more or less I think it is because he inspires me. I get excited to share my experiences with him and best of all I still have the opportunity to build a friendship. Even though we are far apart now and it might not be the best timing for anything. It is a beginning to something and it although there is a chance it could not go anywhere; I have this gut feeling it would be worth waiting around to find out. But until then I won’t know.

I may not be able to see the silver lining in my life just yet. With jobs, relationships or my future for that matter. However I know it will only get better, I just have to continue to stay focused and be positive. Everything has a time and place, even if it hasn’t turn out the way I thought it would. Just remember we have so much to live for, even if it means facing our struggles. When one door close, another will open.

“Clouds may come, but clouds must go, and they all have a silver lining. For behind each cloud you know, the sun, or moon, is shining.” -Unknown

72 Hours

Trying to think about what happened in the last 72 hours is pretty much a blur. I’ve been scowering the internet for jobs, making cold calls and trying to network as much as possible. Needless to say the flu bug hit me hard on Tuesday and up until tonight I had not eaten in two full days! Man, what a week it has been. With the lay off and being as sick as dog, I started to wonder if my luck would change. Yesterday after some cold calling, it finally did! I managed to get a job interview at a design firm in Circle City for this afternoon. Excited about getting one only 3 days after being laid off, I wasn’t about to let the flu keep me from a job interview.

Desperately in need of a good night’s sleep, I knew I had to get some night time Therma-Flu. So bracing the -11 degree winter wonderland I made it to the grocery store and back! This was a huge step for me considering I had been glued to the sofa for almost two days straight. As my alarm went off this morning I was a little woozy getting out of bed, but thankfully I started feeling better. I made it through the interview and it seemed to go well. Only time will tell and I should hear something back by the end of next week. Even though the past 72 hours have been out of my control, all I can do is be strong.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” -Joshua 1:9

A New Chapter

Waking up this morning, I was hoping yesterday’s events were just a dream. Leaving life just as mundane as it was the day before. Pinching myself it only made me realize it was reality. Yesterday, January 12th 2009 at 2:30 in the afternoon gave a new meaning to,”Somebody’s got a case of the Mondays!”. I was at work, sitting at my desk when my phone rang. As soon as I picked it up, I got that gut feeling. I guess that is why I didn’t bother to bring a notebook and pen, I knew I wouldn’t need to take notes at this meeting. Walking downstairs I was hopeful that there were other reasons I was being called, but then when I was asked to close the door and take a seat. It all made sense, today was the day I was going to be laid off.

After having three layoffs and changing four bosses in 2008 alone, it was only a matter of when the next big change would be. I had been expecting the fourth layoff for the past two months, so I wasn’t caught off guard about it when I was told I would be apart of it. More or less it came as shock, because no one loves hearing that they are getting laid off from their job. Of course there were a few tears and questions that were endlessly filling my head as I was walked up to get some of my personal items.

Feeling a little out of place coming home at 3:30 in the afternoon, all I wanted to do was lay in bed and feel sorry for myself. After a good five minutes… I wiped the mascara off my face, picked up my computer and went to work. I realized these past couple months God was not only preparing me for this moment; He was giving me the strength I would need to get through it. I have never felt more alive and my trust has never been deeper in Him. I wanted to learn to live blind this year and now more the ever God is letting me have the chance to do that. I have no idea what the future will hold but the possibilities are endless. This is the beginning to a whole new chapter.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” – Psalm 23:4

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”- Psalm 119:50