When we say I Do…

…is it forever?

I want to address an issue that not only effects the parties involved but everyone around them. I don’t think these individuals ever consider the people they are impacting with the dangerous decisions they are making. But I know a handful of people who decided it was best to break their marriage vows recently. Granted it hasn’t really hit home for me until now. Just this past Saturday night I found out news from one such couple, we will call Mr. & Mrs. Jingleheimer. I was totally caught off guard when Mr. Jingleheimer told me that his family has been separated for the past couple months. It breaks my heart because I had such great respect for him and his wife. And now they have three boys and two girls that they are dragging into this mess.

After I finished talking to Mr. Jingleheimer I had an overwhelming feeling came over me and I couldn’t help but cry. I’ve know the Jingleheimer family since 5th grade, so to me it was like hearing my parents were separating and on the brink of a divorce. They were so involved in my life growing up and hearing him talk about how they are separated… just crushed me. I think what hurts even more is that I know, they know better! Their marriage was so strong all these years… what made the bomb start ticking ?!?!

I’m pretty sure this is why I get nervous about getting into a relationship. Plus my past experiences with men have not been the greatest (I mean two out of my three boyfriends cheated on me so far). So what makes a good healthy relationship? How do you find someone and know that it will last… are there any guarantees?  Probably not, but I know whoever I start dating will have to fight for me just as much as I fight for him. I think the environments we expose ourselves to, play a big role in our relationships today. Society is always telling us we need to focus on numeral uno and if you don’t get what you want then move on. Putting the most value on yourself instead of your family. Which if this is true by any means this method of thinking makes dating impossible… and finding good solid guys that want to work at a relationship seem like a distant notion. It leaves me asking myself is there any hope at all?

Don’t get me wrong there are some really great couples out there, who have some really awesome marriages! But it is really hard to find those couples. And sadly far and few between. With all that being said how do you know that “special someone” is the one you are going to spend the rest of your life with? I know every marriage is no cup of tea but Isn’t your marriage worth fighting for? Isn’t that what you committed to, when you said your vows?

I guess what is so tough for me about this issue is watching some of my close friends and family member’s marriages crumble right before me. The ones I never dreamed of it happening to. Even though they might think they are the only ones being impacted by their decisions, they are wrong. They impact the ones they least suspect.